I’m going to have “exams’ week” starting tomorrow, and I know I have to study really hard.
BUT, there’s one biggest distraction for it. It’s the thought of him that keep twinkling like a starry night in my brain. Damn, could you please go outside for a week so I can study seriously without any thoughts about you??


Confession #2

Well, I like him.

It was started on one of the day in the past which I don’t know when it was exactly. Just like a click! and I just got a very different feeling for him. I’ve never show off to take his attention to me, as long as I remember. But then, I just like felt that he had a little glance at me, and it was cought by my eyes. I didn’t want to suck myself into bulk hope for anything, so I just ignored it and consider it as an accident.

BUT, now I feel that it happens more often. You know, the glance. It happens to me more than a couple of times everyday, and somewhere inside my heart just sucked into a pile of hope, that made me not able to even say “hi” to him! What a serious problem, huh? Silly me.

But really, I do hope that it is true, since I think I like him. He’s not so handsome, he is too white for a guy in my opinion, and he cheats in tests eventough he’s smart! I can’t change anything about it-I know-but the fact that he is a cheater, I really can’t compromise. I really hate cheaters!

Then why? Why I still feel that I like him? Why I can’t get him out of my mind? Why everything about him-his smile, his glance, even his jacket-keep twinkling in my head throughout the week? Geez, I can’t believe myself! Yet I remember someone said that we can’t choose to who we want fall in love with, and I think that’s actually true…


-another story-

As we all know, at every school there must be some gangs. They make themselves exclusive, and only want to be friend to those who are similar to them. Like rich, love to put a lot of stuffs on their bodies, love to read books, love to wear heels, etc, etc..

Well, I don’t mind if they’re exist at my high. And they’re not always ‘that’ bad. Hm.. Actually, all that I want to share on this post is that sometimes, when I see them uploading their photos when they were hanging out, there always a bit of.. mmm… jealous. Yeah, a bit of jealous.  I think that’s not necessary at all, but somehow, the feeling just popped out like ‘plop!’. And suddenly I just think to change myself to be like them. You know, girly and really feminine — wearing mini dresses, high heels, with eyeshadow and mascara on their face, have hair done at some salon — which I don’t really like being dressed that way.

But then, some answers popped out in my head. It’s okay to be me. It’s okay not love wearing dresses, heels and mascara. It’s just okay to stay as what you are. Isn’t God created me as who I am right now? And God has made everyone unique in their own ways? Then, so what? But still, in some ways, I regret to be me. But I don’t hate me. I just keep wondering, why, why, why, and why. Why I don’t like dresses? Why I can’t walk on high heels? Why I don’t like to see myself in make-ups? And why I prefer pants than skirts?

Heart page marker in Crafts

Feeling bored on rectangular-shaped bookmarks? Try this one! You can make it by yourselves easily, with any paper, in less than 2 minutes! Click the link below and find out!

Heart page marker in Crafts for decorating and home decor, parties and events.

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Guess Who?


Well, some of my friends have read my post “First” and they asked me who was borrowing my eraser. I didn’t tell them.

Why? First, me myself not so sure about it. Second, I don’t wanna expect too much, cos it might hurt me much more in future. And the third, I’m not ready. I’m not ready to split my mind more further by telling them the story. I’m not ready to suck him into my heart deeper by telling anything about him to anyone. Even to my best friend. #geez

So, I’ll just keep him in my mind for myself for now. Until I’m sure about me, and sure about him. I’ve felt that ‘miserable’ feeling and I don’t want to feel that again. Sorry, but you can only guess. 😛

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Turning Seventeen : Cake and Surprises

Yeah, I know it’s not 1st April anymore.. But I just wanna share my happiness to my blog! *I’m not sure what that’s mean*

Well, let just begin with some pictures! 😀

1st present given to me; it's from Vania. Thanks girl! 🙂

2nd present on that day. Thanks Vindy! 🙂

Then, when I came home I found this on my piano!

I think it's my brother's girlfriend's idea.. Thanks ci rere! 😀

That was quite a surprise, since I’ve never even once expecting this kind of surprise! But I like it. 🙂

Okay, this are the presents that I got on 1st April 2011 by night.

scrapbook, big hand bag, backpack, bottle-shaped saving, frame, and a bunch of note from my friend; they're nice!

Then some more presents were given to me during the next 7 days period from my friends.. Here they are!

from rita; I've already use the case, but I don't intended to use the notebook-it's just too cute! ><

from tenten; the blue is sooooo NICE! XD

from tina & stella; thanks guys. 🙂

And today (8/4/2011) is the best day! Irin and Vania and Nathania just gave me the best gifts *since I’ve been looking for them for quite a long time* today. Nath gave me an analog camera which is gonna be REALLY useful since I’ve got my digital camera broken last year, while Irin and Vania gave me “The Book of Tomorrow” by Cecelia Ahern which I’ve been looking forward to buy it since last Christmas!

from irin and vania; The Book of Tomorrow!

there's a note and a pic of three of us.. I'll never ever forget this! 😀

analog camera from Nath!! geez.. it's really precious nath.. even it's got some 'pink's on it. 😛

touching note from Nath; thanks Nath, you're a great friend to me. 🙂

That’s a blast! And these are some pics from my celebration on 1st April night.

right to left: with vania suherman, sherly, nath, marina, rita, vindy -- edited by nath, thanks nath! 🙂

Once more, thanks guys! A really big thanks I hand to you all! 😀

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Your first sentence to me! But strangely, it was sounded a bit softer (???) than your voice when you talk to your friends. (Is that true? *wondering) Well, maybe it was just because of we’re in the middle of the test.. But really, I was surprised!

Yes, it was just an eraser. And yes, it was not really a thing. But that was just a bit different to me! Hope you’ll say your second one…..soon! 😀

*I hope I didn’t fly too high*

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